


His (After)Life is a Musical

by Fablegate



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: when you're friends with the local dead rat man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-01-27 08:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21388969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fablegate/pseuds/Fablegate
Summary: “...Beetlejuice.” Lydia said.“Lph-ff-ph.(Lydia)” The personification of fungus tried saying her name. If his mouth weren’t occupied with what looked to be empty soup cans.----
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz
Comments: 46
Kudos: 438





	1. Nothing goes to Waste

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really have a full on story or plot in mind, most of these chapters are probs just gonna be a bunch of one shots and drabbles. Though, because I like continuity, all chapters will be connected. But I hope you guys enjoy either way!

Lydia heft the bag of trash over her head with one hand while with the other, lifted the top of the trash can. If she hadn’t taken a glance in the can first, she would have just mindlessly dumped the trash bag in and been done with it. 

But she glanced and almost immediately shut the lid back with a clang. 

She stared blankly at the can. Blinked a few times. Still holding the stinky trash bag in her hand. 

It took a good long minute before she’d lift the lid again. Slowly. 

“...Beetlejuice.” Lydia said. 

“L_ ph-ff-ph.(Lydia) _” The personification of fungus tried saying her name. If his mouth weren’t occupied with what looked to be empty soup cans. 

“How are you fitting in there?” Lydia squinted. Because from a logical stand point, Beetlejuice should not be fitting inside the small metal trash can. It barely contained his bulk and that was with his knees and arms tucked up against his chest. If the young goth didn’t know any better, she’d say he was stuck. 

“_ Mph- _ _ phm _ _ . (Magic) _" Was his answer as he casually chewed on the soup can like a burrito. 

“And your eating out of our trash can because...?” Lydia waited patiently as the demon finally had the courtesy to swallow. 

“One breather’s trash is one demon’s home-cooked meal.” To emphasize his point, Beetlejuice shoved the rest of the can into his mouth and Lydia had the joy of listening to the metallic crunch as he chewed. 

“In that case; room for one more?” Lydia asked, shaking the trash bag she was still holding. Beetlejuice’s eyes widened and there were literal stars in them now. 

“Oooo!! Gimme!” He wiggled until his arms came out with a pop and he made grabby hands at the bag. Lydia heft the bag up and dumped it right on the demon’s face. The demon was hardly fazed or bothered by this as his arms wrapped around the bag and Lydia could start to hear the sound of plastic being chewed. 

‘Welp. That was interesting.’ Lydia thought as she put the lid back on the trash can. Somehow it closed all the way and managed to look completely normal from the outside. She decided to leave it like that and headed back inside the house. 


	2. A Graveyard Smash(hit)

The next time Lydia sees the ghost with the most is at a graveyard. She was taking pictures of gravestones, the usual for her. Walking from stone to stone, taking pictures of both the plain and intricate carvings of people’s names. It’s always quiet, which Lydia thinks adds to the charm of it. A sort of peacefulness as the dead sleep. 

Metaphorically of course. As Lydia now knows the dead, in fact, do not sleep. 

In a small corner of the graveyard, a small distance from Lydia, she can see people in black gathered. A funeral. She walks closer but doesn’t fully approach. Lydia usually tried keeping a distance from funerals. To be respectful for those mourning and for the dead. But it’s hard to keep a distance in this case. Especially with all the noise _ he _ was making. 

What’s weird is she doesn’t hear him right away as she watches the funeral from a distance. Actually, she sees him first. Mingling with all the black hats she sees that striking green hair dancing about. Weaving between people, almost dancing, before he’s now standing on top of the coffin that’s about to be buried. 

Lydia watches as he clears his throat and poses with his arms held out wide, head slightly tilted with an exciting grin on his face. She raises her camera and snaps a photo of this smiling demon standing above a crowd of mourners. When the photo comes out, he’s not in the picture. She pockets it anyway. 

He calls for the mourner’s attention. He doesn’t get it but that hardly phases him as he begins to sing above their heads. Lydia isn’t surprised that she can hear him from here. But with how loud he is makes it a bit odder at how, still, no one besides her is aware of his presence. They’re all continuing to stare blankly at the coffin while the priest reads from his bible. 

Beetlejuice isn’t singing over the priest, instead he sings in between bible quotes. Turning each phrase on its head and into a crude joke. Lydia tries not to laugh when a few people from the crowd turn their head a moment to glance her way. A reminder she is not the one who is invisible to them. 

He moves on in his song, starting to dance on top of the coffin for a minute before he hops down and starts weaving around people. Getting up close, laughing, gagging, a full on personal performance that not a single person there is able to see to enjoy. Or at the very least witness. Lydia can’t help but think it a shame. He’s really giving it his all. 

Even though, it seems rehearsed. 

By the end, he’s back up on top of the coffin. And he’s clearly winded at this point. Lydia watches with no small amount of amusement as he crawls on top and drapes himself, using the flowers as a pillow as he very loudly takes a few ragged breaths. Once he’s decided he’s recovered enough, he wrangles himself to standing and poses once more with his arms out and head tilted. His smile even wider than before. 

No one applauds. 

But he waits. 

He waits longer than Lydia thinks he should. But she also knows why he does. 

And because she knows, she takes a chance. 

She claps. 

Heads turn to look at her, even the demon’s. Lydia sees the open surprise and realization on his face as his smile falls and his eyebrows raise as she slowly claps. 

Then a clap joins hers. Heads turn again to someone among the mourners, and elderly woman in a wheelchair. Then two more claps happen and heads turn to look at the two children that had been hidden in the middle of the crowd in black. Slowly, more and more join in. Not all of them, but most of them. 

Beetlejuice at this point has slowly lowered his arms, staring at the people bellow him in disbelief. Later he’ll realize that their applause wasn’t for him, and a bit of him in that moment knew it then as well...But that wouldn’t stop him from finally getting to take a bow. 

When the mourners leave the funeral sometime later, it’s with smiles. Some of those smiles are directed toward Lydia and she gives a small smile back. There are still tears and bittersweet goodbyes. But there are certainly more smiles then there were when the funeral started. 

The biggest one belonged to a demon that only Lydia could see. 


	3. Photogenic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beetlejuice makes a pleasant discovery while waiting for Lydia to come home from school.

He was floating around her room, perusing all the photos hanging from the wall. Waiting for Lydia to get home from school was so _ boring. _

But wait he must. He was banned from picking Lydia up from school for at least a month ever since the magic school bus incident. 

At least there was plenty of entertainment to be had with the Maitlands and prank calling both the living and dead. Though the Netherworld has no running fridges so... 

Now he was just looking over his best friend’s artistic view of the world. Some pictures were of just the surface of things, like gravel and wood. But hey, even Beej can appreciate the simple things. 

His gaze went from the nature pictures to the ones with people in them. More than a few were of people getting caught off guard. Either during a scare or just Lydia coming up from behind and flashing the camera. 

Then there was him. 

Wait. What? 

Beetlejuice had to float back. It was a picture of a funeral. Nothing special about it, just the usual crowd of people in black, coffin in the middle...with a small painted figure of him standing on top. 

Now. BJ knew for a fact that Lydia could not paint to save her life. Paint usually meant the Maitlands(and maybe Delia too, though her area was more sculpting). So what this photo told him was; not only did Lydia take a picture of him during a “performance”, but said living girl went to the closest artist she knew and had him painted in where the camera failed to show him. 

Without thinking, Beetlejuice plucked the photo from where it hung on the string. He held it _ carefully _, not just because Lydia would kill him to find a photo out of place. 

And then, as if magnetized, his gaze lifted from the photo and landed on another that was painted over. A picture of Adam and Barbara setting up new wallpaper. He took it as well and held it beside his, admired both before he turned his gaze up again and looked for more. There were quite a few. How had he not noticed these before?? 

One photo however. One that made him forget all the rest in his hands. Was one that hung by the “family photos” corner of the room. It was a photo of the Deetz family. Delia and Charles standing hand in hand with two painted figures of Adam and Barbara on either side of the living couple. Their daughter, Lydia, standing in front of them with an arm slung over Beetlejuice. They were all smiling. 

He stared for so long he barely heard the bedroom door open. 

“Hey, Beej, sorry I’m la-” Lydia was surprised that she hadn’t been greeted at the front door. Though, she was less curious about it the moment she walked into her room and one of her photos was being shoved into her face. “What did I say about touching my-” 

“Can I have this?” The demon interrupted. He held the photo for a moment longer in Lydia’s face before bringing it back so just his eyes could be seen over the paper. His eyes were wide with stars in them. 

Before she answered that, Lydia actually took a second to look at which photo it was and-oh. Her immediate answer was going to be no. It was one of her favorite photos after all. But then Beetlejuice- 

“Please?” He added in the middle of her thoughts. And dammit it wasn't every day that the demon looked that genuine about wanting something. 

“...Let’s make a copy first.” Was Lydia’s answer. “So we can both have one.” 

She could see his toothy smile now from behind the photo. 


	4. The (Attempted) Exorcism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This would take place in like, a full on story fanfic with plot where the hooded dude would be seen in the background of previous chapters as he secretly spies on the Deetz/Maitland house. Then he doesn't introduce himself until many chapters later and begins to start shit. 
> 
> Also said hooded man(free lance exorcist???) has goons because every villain has goons.

A demon exorcism is not the same as a ghost exorcism. 

During Barbara’s near exorcism, there were lights flashing, she hung from the air like a rag doll on a string...and she was screaming.

But this...

Lydia was quickly learning this was nothing like before.

There were no lights beside the sickly green glow from his eyes. He didn’t float nor scream. He was limp on his  knees, knuckles scrapped the floor as bits and pieces of his black and white suit started to break off into ash and dust around him.

This wasn't even supposed to be happening. They had all been having such a good day. A family day spent watching movies, playing board games, ended with some peace and quiet by the warm fireplace. Then there was a knock on the front door. Adam went to get it without thinking. 

Now. Ghosts probably shouldn't be the one to answer doors. For obvious reasons.

Ghosts definitely shouldn't answer doors when an exorcist is on the other side.

So for Lydia, when she watched her step dad start floating in the air much like Barbara had once done. Her first and only thought was summon the person who she knew could stop this.

What she didn't think was that the exorcist had planned for this. How could she have? Unless this man had been spying on their family...

Either way. Bringing Beetlejuice in quickly turned into a mistake. Because no sooner had he freed Adam from the exorcism with a snap of his fingers did he suddenly fall to his knees into a trance as the hooded man turned his attention to the demon. 

This was the most silent and still that Lydia had ever seen Beetlejuice. Somehow that made it even more terrifying to her.

“Stop!” Lydia turned, she was the first to break from the shock, to look at the hooded man that held the opened Book of the Recently Deceased. “Stop, you’re killing him!”

“It is a demon, young girl.” The man paused in his reading to say. “And once this demon is erased you all will be-”

“ No we won’t!” Lydia snapped, moving to stand between the man and her suffering friend. “We won’t, he’ll just be gone.”

She saw dark eyes within the hood regard her as she stood her ground. She hoped he could hear the genuine fear and pain in her voice when she said those words.    


“...And the world will be better for it.” The man chose to say before looking back at the book but before he could begin to read again, Lydia  leapt at him.

“No!” She screamed with rage as she wrapped her arms around the book, blocking the words. 

“Let go, child!” The man yanked on the book, swinging Lydia around. But she could still see Beetlejuice slumped on the floor. The young girl refused to let go. Even as the man raised a hand to grab her.

If ever there were a good time for her father to pitch in, it was right then. Lydia watched wide-eyed as Charles’ hand came in and grabbed the hooded man’s. (The goon that had previously been restraining her father was now sporting a black eye on the floor.)

“Keep your hands off my daughter.” Charles growled before throwing a fist at the hooded man. The world then spun for Lydia before she went flying with the book still tight in her arms. It continued to spin for a few more seconds after landing on her rear before Lydia shook her head to watch her father and the hooded man wrestle on the floor. 

“Kick his ass, darling!” Delia called as she was busy driving her heel into a goon’s foot. Lydia laughed as the goon screeched. Her step-mom pulled a yoga pose that involved grabbing his head and practically flipping him onto the floor. 

“Lydia!” Lydia heard both Adam and Barbara behind her before two sets of cold hands were suddenly on her shoulder. 

“Are you alright?” Adam looked like he was near panicking. 

“I’m fine.” Lydia managed to say as she finally  loosened her arms. 

“You got the book!” Barbara exclaimed, both in shock and relief. Lydia didn’t bother responding to that as she adjusted the object in her hands, it was still open on the exorcism page. Okay.

“Did he finish reading it?” Adam asked, looking at the page with her.

“I don’t think so.” Lydia read through the page just to make sure. She was so busy getting the book away she hadn’t really paid attention to..to...

“Beetlejuice...” Barbara’s voice drew Adam and Lydia’s attention from the book. The demon was unchanged, still limp, eyes still glowing...still deteriorating. His striped jacket and tie were nearly gone now and his shirt, skin, and pale gray hair were starting to go as well. 

“No...” Lydia whispered before getting on her knees and scrambling to the demon. She let the book fall in her lap as her hands grabbed his shoulders and shook him. “No no  no ! Beej! Wake up!”

His head rocked back and forth when she shook him. But other than that, nothing. A blank gaze staring into nothing. When she shook him again, what was left of his tie fell toward the ground. Lydia watched it land on top of the open book as a pile of ashes-

Wait.

Ashes.

Lydia didn’t hear Adam and Barbara talk over her shoulder as she slowly looked back up at the demon. She looked at him then slowly over his shoulder at the lit fireplace.

“Okay, BJ.” Lydia let go of her friend as she picked up the book. “Ready to see a puppet show?”

“What are you doing?!” The hooded man managed to push Charles off of him in time to see Lydia stand up, with book in hand, and walk toward the fireplace. He dodged her father’s tackle as he scrambled to his feet and sprinted toward her. Only to have the Maitlands stand in his way, hand in hand, and determination on their faces even as he pulled out sealing paper from his pockets. “Out of my way!”

The  Maitlands watched, braced, as the man in front of them suddenly froze. As if someone pointed a remote at him and hit pause. The paper still held in his fist before erupting into flames. And slowly the room turned red and a familiar cackle filled the air. Heads turned. Lydia let out a short, relieved laugh as she turned away from the burning book.

Then music filled the room. 

“Hey, guys! Awesome séance!” Everyone watched as the man shaped demon rose into the air, shoulders hunched, a good chunk of his clothing disintegrated, and his hair a blazing red. “Lots of good  ol ’ fashion chaos!”

The hooded man suddenly turned around. His goons, even the unconscious ones, rose up until their toes barely touched the floor. 

“But you lose! In your faces!” Beetlejuice raised his hands and the intruders were all dragged into a line before him. “ ’Cause look who’s holding all the aces!!”

His blood red eyes looked at every struggling breather in front of him. Getting a good look at the faces he was about to torture.  Oh the things he was about to do...

“Beetlejuice!” His attention was yanked from his thoughts of murder to the little girl now standing bellow him. “I burned the  book; he can’t hurt you anymore!”

“You’re right.” Beetlejuice looked back at the hooded man, who’s calm demeanor was pissing him off even more. “He can’t...”

“No!” Lydia, in her good ol’ fashion Lydia-way, jumped back into the demon’s view by standing in front of the hooded man. Her arms held up in protest of what she knew the demon was planning. “You don’t have to do this!”

“Oh, don’t I?!” He snapped back. In the blink of an eye he was standing in front of her, his face threateningly closer to hers now. With his ragged shoulders hunched, fangs bared, eyes bloodshot, Beetlejuice looked more like an animal now. More like a demon. He heaved with each lungful of air he took. Lydia knew he didn’t need to and she didn’t want to think what it meant for him to be taking physical breaths. “This guy walks in and tries to exorcise the Maitlands. _Tries to exorcise me!_ I nearly get  _ wiped from existence.  _ And you want me to what-LET HIM GO??!!”

“Yes.” She says it without even blinking. And that actually makes the demon blink back before another expression flickers across his face. One that was realizing that he shouldn’t be surprised by her anymore.

“Hah!” Beetlejuice leaned back and cackled. He pointed at her when he came back up. “You, Lydia Deetz, are a naïve little kid. Do you know that?!”

“Yep.” Lydia answered, and she grinned a little when she made him cackle again. The red was still blazing in his hair, but there  were paler streaks now. 

There’s a small change to his face as he looks down to think. Considering. When he looks back up, it isn’t at Lydia. And when he puts a gentle hand on her shoulder to move her to the side, Lydia lets him. 

The hooded man was muttering something under his breath. Either a prayer or a spell, didn’t seem to be affecting Beetlejuice in anyway as the demon approached. The man was tall, taller with just the toes of his shoes touching the floor. But Beetlejuice had no problem raising himself up to meet the breather eye to eye. 

“Step one foot in this house again and  _ I will kill you _ .” Beetlejuice said before the front door swung right open. “Now. Leave.  _ This.  _ ** _ HOUSE!!” _ **

As if picked up by an invisible tornado, the hooded man and his goons swirled around each other until they were locked in a man-made clump. And with a demonic scream from Beetlejuice, the intruders went flying out the door, bouncing off the front lawn and rolling down the hill. The  Deetzs and the  Maitlands only got to see the bounce part though before the doors closed by themselves. Then they turned to look back at Beetlejuice just as he lowered back onto his feet. 

The music came to an end.

And Beetlejuice wasn’t on his feet for long as the demon teetered for a moment before beginning to fall. Luckily Adam and Barbara were close enough to catch Beetlejuice in their arms before he could hit the floor. 

“Ugh...” He groaned as his hair turned pale and the room went back to  it’s normal colors. He rested his entire weight on the two ghosts. Which between the two of them, Adam and Barbara were finding Beetlejuice lighter than they expected him to be. Though his breathing worried them. “Everything hurts...”

“Set him on the couch.” Charles spoke up, already moving to help the  Maitlands move the exhausted demon.

“I’ll get blankets and pillows!” Delia sing- songed before speeding to the stairs. Lydia decided to follow her step-mom to help but was stopped by her father.

“Stay with your friend.” He told her as he went to follow Delia instead. “I think he needs you with him.”

“To be honest dad.” Lydia pointed a thumb back to the couch were Barbara sat on one end to let Beetlejuice use her lap as a pillow while Adam kept an eye on both from where he sat on the couch arm. “I think BJ is covered.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might do a follow chapter to this (that may or may not end up being beetlands fluff)


	5. Painting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia catches BJ painting on the house

“My window sill!!” Delia exclaimed in abject horror upon walking out the front door. 

“Hm?” Beetlejuice only looked at her out of the corner of his eye. In the palm of one hand he was holding a cup of what looked to be just white paint. In the other; a small paint brush that he was using to paint over the wooden boards that made up the outside wall of the house. His striped coat was dumped on the bench swing and his sleeves rolled up to reveal hairy arms smudged with colors of paint that were not white.

“We just finished painting the porch last week!” Delia went on, still in distress. All that time and work picking out paint and getting to spend family bonding time with Lydia, Charles, and the Maitlands. 

All of it seemingly wasted because Beetlejuice decided to take up home  decor . 

“No need to get your panties in a twist.” The demon grumbled, finishing up what looked to Delia to be some kind of symbol. There were quite a variety of them now lining the window. “I’m only planning on doing the windows and doors...and maybe the plumbing...”

“The  plu - wha -what???” Delia’s despair was quickly replaced with confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“That’s normal with breathers.” He dipped his paint brush into the cup. When he raised the bristle back to the wood, Delia noticed it was now red instead of white. In fact, several of the symbols were different colors now. Some were in the middle of changing their colors even What?? “Tell me,  Deels , you ever had to clean up after a banshee’s screamed all the windows and glassware into oblivion?”

“No?” Delia answered, still confused.

“Ever found an unmarked grave in your basement?”

“No.”

“A witch place a curse on you?”

“....”

“You know what, don’t worry about answering that last one.” Beetlejuice grinned a toothy grin. “This is just to make sure you and fam don’t get any unwelcome guests. Like poltergeists and demons-”

“Wouldn’t that also include you?” Delia tilted her head.

“Nope! Think of this as a supernatural padlock that I have a key to. Metaphorically.”

“Oh. Do the family and I get a metaphorical key too?” 

“Yep!” Once finished with the last symbol, Beetlejuice took a step back and stood up straight. He looked rather proud of himself as he tucked the paintbrush behind his ear. “ Oh and don’t worry about the “aesthetic” or whatever.”

Before Delia could ask why the symbols around the window light up like a rainbow before fading to white and then fading to nothing. As if they were never there in the first place. Huh. Well that was relief.

“Now, if you don’t mind me~” Beetlejuice hummed as he floated off his feet toward the next window. “I’ve got at least twenty more windows and thirteen more doors.”

“Thirteen doors?” Delia turned to keep an eye on the demon. 

“Outside and inside.” Beetlejuice clarified as he stopped in front of the next window on the opposite side of the door. He plucked the paintbrush from his ear and got to work. “Might do the lining of all the walls too. In case someone tries visiting from the Netherworld uninvited. Can never be too careful.”

“Isn’t that a lot to do by yourself?” She walked behind Beetlejuice and studied each symbol he painted. “You know, I may not get what those symbols mean, but I am an artist.”

“Uh-huh.” Beetlejuice said in a tone that wasn’t quite believing but Delia chose to ignore that.

“ Soooo ~” Delia put on her step-mom/life coach voice. “How’s about you show me what symbols to draw and I can get started on the doors inside!”

At that, the demon’s brush paused and he turned his head for the first time to fully look at Delia. 

“You want to help.” It wasn’t a question. More a bewildered and doubtful statement.

“I may not understand it but if it’s important to you then, yes.” Delia smiled brightly, hands on her hips. “I want to help you.”

For a good minute the demon didn’t say anything but stare at the woman. Delia didn’t seem fazed by this and continued to  smile as she waited for an answer. 

“Okay.” Beetlejuice finally said and, from somewhere behind him, a third arm appeared and handed Delia a brush a cup of the white paint and a piece of paper with the symbols on it. “Paint the symbols in that order. Start in a corner, doesn’t matter which. With doors make sure to do the floor as well-”

Delia listened intently as Beetlejuice instructed her on what to do. He even showed her as he worked on the window. And Delia, to her credit, was asking pretty good questions as she absorbed the new information.

When Lydia would get home later that day, she’d find her step-mom and  bdf (best demon friend) laughing in the living room as they were painting the edges of all the walls and windows. Both covered in multiple colors of paint and seeming all too pleased with their work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I know this isn't the after care chapter, that's still a wip, but I had this one finished for a while and wanted to post it before I forgot)


End file.
